Monday, February 27, 2012

Breaking a Woman - Part II

This is Part II of something I HAD to write.  It may be helpful to start with Part I.

Everywhere I look in the real world - I see women struggling to define what a complete life looks like.  Maybe there are too many choices.  And whether it is nature or conditioning, we look to men as one of our stabilizing sources.

I mentioned earlier that centuries of evolution have brought women to a point where they struggle to feel feminine within their "equality". They crave a masculine presence and strong guidance.

A pretty inflammatory opinion in certain circles, but let's just say this is true and not insulting in any way to women.

It is out of this craving that certain relationships have been born - TTWD, DD, D/s, whatever.  And these relationships are based upon a mutually negotiated power exchange.

I agree to give You power over my schedule/my attire/my speech/my everything.

And with that power, I also give You something that is not given too freely in today's society, if ever - I give You absolute trust. I invite You to break me.

I want to be part of a majestic union.  I know in my heart that can only happen with one person in charge.

Everywhere I look in the BDSM world - I see women struggling to guide their Master into what a submissive life looks like.  I am totally guilty of this - mostly through these blogs.  And this behavior is somewhat encouraged - after all, communication is key.  Right?

I see REALLY good advice about making sure you know what you are requesting.  Be clear on your hard limits.  If you want more, define it.  Be specific.  Be prepared for what you ask.  And the most often repeated advice:  He can not read your mind.

I know You are not a mind reader.

Likewise, I have never been broken.

And, here's the thing - I can not break myself. 

You have to do it.

I do not know how to be specific on what I want - other than to say, more.

You have given me a safe word AND veto power.

I don't need to and really can't, guide anything else.

2 comments:

  1. "Don't stop. If it's too much for me, I'll let you know."

    Yeah, had that conversation a few times.

    It's good when there's enough mutual trust for you both to go there.

    Nice post. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Conina! Obviously, I have been nervous about this one.

      I saw an interesting essay on Fetlife once about aftercare - took the position "Why go to all that work of breaking me down and then just ruin it?" Not for everyone (not for me), but it got me thinking of the many ways we both try to let go and protect ourselves. I can't imagine doing this within a casual relationship.

      Happy Monday!

      Delete